One thing I always think about before I publish a post is who will be reading this blog. My boyfriend reads my blog, my best friend, and some other people. I generally post link to my blogs for my “close friends” on facebook. The thing is, I was planning on writing about something, and I thought, “will people judge me?” Why does that matter so much to me?!
In my diet blog I wrote about my bizzare night. I left out the dream I had because I don’t think the dream had anything to do with the HCG side effects. Maybe vivid dreams are a side effect though. Who knows. Doesn’t really matter. I have weird dreams all the time.
So, I dreamt that I **almost** had sex with a man that was not my boyfriend. I’m not sure what to make of that. Here’s a recap of the dream (it is odd):
D (I know this guy in “real life”) and I are trying to infiltrate some kind of religious center to get the scoop on their crazy ideals (I’m watching too much True Blood). We were imposing as supporters. For some reason we hopped on D’s bicycle and were heading to a different building. D had his shirt off and I was hanging on for dear life. I kissed his back. We get to the building and we were talking with various people (D had a shirt again). We were being really sneaky and got down to some of the lower levels. We were in this massively long hallway, which was desserted. We heard someone coming so we quickly made our way into a side room. D’s shirt was gone again. He made a comment (I don’t know what it was) and my heart stopped. I knew that he was going to kiss me and that if he did that that everything would continue to heat up and that eventually we’d be naked on the floor. I abruptly woke up.
I believe that dreams are just that – dreams. I don’t think that there are any “hidden meanings” behind the dreams. I do not actually want to have sex with D. There are many reasons for that. The biggest reason is that I love my boyfriend very much and do not feel drawn (sexually) to other guys. This dream kind of freaked me out though because I feel like I kinda cheated on my boyfriend even though I didn’t. I did wake up desperately wanting my boyfriend here so that we could get all tangled up in the sheets this morning… 🙂
I hope my boyfriend has a good day today. 5 weeks until he’s home! I’m so ready for him to be home…
Ugh. I really, really need to clean the house. And I do NOT want to do so! I’m pouting and stamping my foot (figuratively) because I would much rather stay in bed. My house is a disaster. I have stuffing from a pillow all over the living room. I need to deep clean the kitchen. I really need to vacuum. There are certain things that just must be done in order to maintain a healthy, happy home.
I also have to go over to BGF’s place to watch his kids so he can bring a chain link fence to my house. He is replacing their fence and has graciously given us the old fence. We really need a fenced-in area for the dogs. I am so very grateful for the free fence… I do not want to go over there today. I will end up getting stuck there for hours and I’d rather stay home.
I don’t feel great. I’m sleepy. I’m hungry. I’m thirsty (I need to go buy water). And I miss my boyfriend. My motivation to keep the home in order has diminished greatly because frankly, what is the point when no one is here to see the house anyway? That’s kind of how I feel about shaving as well. What’s the point when no one is going to enjoy my smoothe legs anyway?
Anyway… As a responsible adult, I will go to BGF’s and graciously watch the kids. I will stay for however long I’m needed. Then I will (hopefully) come home and clean what needs cleaned… **sigh** Maybe I’ll take a nap first.
Earlier today we received a referral and because of various things that I can’t exactly detail here, we just found out that we are in fact placing the sibling group tonight. I am not the on-call worker but I am helping with the placement – three children are a lot to handle by oneself.
I’m meeting my coworker at a park ‘n’ ride at 530pm (now). My first thought was, how am I going to walk my dogs? I thought that maybe I could make it home and to the meeting point before the arranged time. But then I got stuck in traffic and realized I would never make it home, walk the dogs, AND be back to the park ‘n’ ride by 530pm. So I called BGF. He agreed to take them out. THANKS!! And then my roommate text me and told me she had just gotten home. So, I asked her to take the dogs out (she agreed). THANKS! I have some pretty awesome people in my life…
So now I’m at the park ‘n’ ride waiting for my coworker to show up. Maybe I did have time to make it home and back…? Oh well. I’m just glad I’m here, on time.
Once we get to where the kids are the real fun will begin.
Oh, there’s my co-worker.
My two big health issues pertain to hearing and nosebleeds.
When I was a young child (I really wanted to say warthog instead of child), I was constantly developing ear infections. I remember late night ER visits and lots of antibiotics. I had tubes placed in my ears twice when I was little and I had my adnoids removed. I have never understood why my tonsils were never removed. Anyway, a few years ago my infections started coming back. When I was 25 I had to get tubes put in my ears again (much to the joking of my dad). Since having the tubes placed in my ears, they have fallen out. They usually stay put for about 2 years. Unfortunately, my left (?) ear has a permanent perforation. Both of my eardrums are severly scarred from the multitude of ear infections. My doctor threatened a mastiodectomy, which is the removal of the mastoid bone in the ear, which could lead to complete or partial hearing loss. I already have problems with hearing. I would be devastated to lose more hearing or all of my hearing.
I hear better out of my right ear than my left. And I can’t hear very low tones very well. Some pitches really irritate my ears.
Nosebleeds are so frequent that my doctor is always asking if someone in the family has a bleeding disorder. Nope. I just have a weird nose. Actually, I have a membrane in my right nostril that needs cauterized (burned). I don’t want to be burned. Some days, I think that the pain might be worth the end result of fewer nosebleeds. I go through periods where I have nosebleeds daily, then I’ll go several weeks without one. Nosebleeds are brought about by excessive sneezing, blowing my nose, and I’m not sure what else. Sometimes I’ll just be sitting at my desk and I have to quickly reach for a tissue or face the ceiling so I don’t bleed all over myself. I can (almost) always feel the nosebleeds coming on. I really dislike nosebleeds when I’m driving.
I generally judge the “badness” of a nosebleed by the amount of tissues I have to use in order for it to cease. For example, yesterday’s nosebleed took about 5 tissues. That was a good-sized nosebleed. Sometimes I don’t really need a tissue because it was that small. I once told my boyfriend that I may die by the hands of a particularly nasty nosebleed someday.
Why am I sharing my hearing and nosebleed woes? I don’t know. They’ve been on my mind today since I have a student who talks very low and I can barely hear what he says to me (and he always comes up after class for some extra clarification about something I talked about) and then I had that nosebleed yesterday. **shrugs** I guess that’s why I’m sharing this.
- I hate them.
- Cramps suck butt.
- Can’t I call off work for excessive bleeding?
- Is anyone actually “regular”?
- I want a sandwich. More like, I want a gooey grilled cheese sandwich. And dark chocolate.
- I don’t really wear make-up. Except chap stick, and that doesn’t really count.
- I don’t have any interest in waking up earlier than necessary to put on make-up.
- Is that weird?
- I will put a little eye shadow, maybe some blush, and lipstick on if I have a special event such as a wedding. But usually not.
- I’m clueless when it comes to what is “in”.
- I like t-shirts and jeans. Not necessarily printed tees, or like the over-sized tees, but (imo) cute tops. And you can never go wrong with jeans.
- Flip flops are a passion of mine.
- I love heels. My dog chewed up most of my heels. I need new heels.
- I like dresses, but my boobs don’t look write in most dresses.
As far as girly stuff goes, I’m pretty clueless. But that’s ok. My boyfriend’s plaid PJs go well with my heart-clad PJs. 😉