Monthly Archives: October 2012

A Storm is Brewing

Oh my my! Yesterday evening I arrived at my in-laws. Seeing my boyfriend for the first time in SEVEN weeks was sooooo awesome!! 🙂

He’s sick. So far we haven’t been able to kiss or cuddle. He can’t lay flat without hacking and he doesn’t want to pass me his sickness. I really don’t care if he kisses me while sick. He’s given me plenty of hugs and forehead kisses. Haha. I love him. 🙂

I’m planning on heading home tomorrow. That may or may not happen with Hurricane Sandy making landfall soon which will spurn Frankenstorm into a snowy frenzy.

I will so (not) be disappointed if I get stuck here with my boyfriend. Oh darn. 😉

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My Boyfriend Got Stabbed.

Seriously.  I hadn’t talked to my boyfriend since Thursday because he was working super late.  He called me about 10 minutes ago and his greeting was, “Hey guess what? I’m on the way to the hospital.  I got stabbed.” WHAT?!?!

He talked to me for like 30 minutes and then talked with the lady who was driving him for about 5 before he said he should go.  I was so PISSED at him because he was ignoring me.  And I am SOOO FUCKING PISSED at the crazy, drunk woman who stabbed my boyfriend!!  I’m in BFE and he’s a 16 hour drive from me, heading to the hospital to get stitched up.  Now, the injury isn’t “serious”.  He was stabbed in the hand.  I’m guessing he was blocking the knife…

Ok.  I’m done ranting – for now.  I’ll update later.

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I Will NOT Be “That” Girlfriend.

On FB this morning I noticed that my boyfriend is now friends with this good-looking girl who lives in the same state, but far away, and who has no other mutual friends with me which leads me to believe that she did not go to his high school because if she did she’d be friends with some of mine and my boyfriend’s mutual friends. Then I stopped that train of thought. I will NOT be the over-bearing girlfriend who blows every little thing out of proportion. I truly trust him – without a doubt.

I do believe that some level of jealousy is always good in a relationship, but there is a point at which the jealousy is overboard. Healthy jealousy shows your significant other that you are serious and committed. Over-doing the jealousy shows an unhealthy, anxious attachment.

This girl could be another vendor at the shows. She could’ve been in the Army with him. Maybe they were neighbors at some point. I don’t know. I do know that I am okay with him having female friends because I know that he loves ME.

Good day.

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Previous Post.

My boyfriend wanted me to delete my previous post, which is no longer the previous post. Haha. So, if you were able to read the post, I hope you enjoyed it. If not, guess you’ll never glimpse that part of me from here on out. Oh well. Life and relationships are all about compromise!!

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Birthday Shout-Out.

Today is my Bestie’s birthday!!  I’m not talking about BGF.  I am talking about my very bestest friend from high school.  We met in the Summer of 1998!!  She is the friend with whom I have had the long relationship ever (other than my family, of course).  Haha.

Bestie turned 29 years old today!!  Oh my goodness… We’re getting to that age where we say things like, “This is the 3rd anniversary of my 29th birthday”.  HAHA!!  She posted on Facebook a bit back about how 29 seems like such a mature and grown-up age.  I couldn’t agree more!

(Sorry if the rest of the post reigns on your parade, Bestie.)

I will be turning 29 next month… Ahh!!  I don’t really know what I want for my birthday.  (Boyfriend, you should pay attention to this next part.)  I think I’d really just like a whole day of spending time with my boyfriend.  I know that sounds cheezy, but he will have been gone for two months, and then I have the agency conference from the 14th-16th of November… Then Thanksgiving will be the day after my birthday…  So I’m thinking a day of whatever my boyfriend plans will be perfect.  (Please do not plan on staying at home in bed all day long. I mean, the bedroom can be involved – hehe – but I’d like to go DO something or many things.  Lol.)

I have great plans for my 29th year of life.

  • Continue to lose weight
  • Get pregnant
  • Buy a house
  • Find a new job

These are all very grown-up type activities!  I say “plans” in the tentative manner.  Nothing is set in stone.  I can’t play God.  I do not determine when/if I will become pregnant.  And, I’m sure pregnancy is something my boyfriend and I will need to continue to discuss before we actually begin trying for a baby.  I can influence my weight loss.  I’m hoping that we can get a bank loan so that we can buy this house outright and not have to deal with the owners anymore (I like the owners, but we’d like to be the owners).  And of course, I’m always looking for a different job.

So I will say again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my BEST FRIEND!!  You are such an amazingly awesome friend.  🙂

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I Am Pissed.

Oh my goodness.  I am SOOOOO MAD!!!

Here’s the story: this past Saturday I had my first PRIDE class.  One family showed up.  I don’t really care that only one family showed up or that the one family that did show up didn’t RSVP.  I’m just glad that I had a reason to be at work on a Saturday.

So, I get to work this morning and have an email that basically states that I need to cancel PRIDE because I only had one family show up and that I don’t need to be teaching PRIDE on a Saturday if I can get 2 sessions completed in 3 1/2 hours instead of 6.

Let me fucking tell you what:

  1. I did NOT discuss my class with my boss.  The office slut did.
  2. When only one family shows up, the material does not take long to review.
  3. I left at 2pm, not 1:30pm.  Therefore, class took 4 hours, not 3 1/2.
  4. I don’t talk about the bitch to my boss, so she sure as hell better stop talking about me.
  5. After reading the email and responding, I took a smoke break.  No wonder I can’t stop smoking.  I’m so frustrated with this job that I need an outlet (i.e. smoking).
  6. In my reply I stated, “I’d appreciate you asking me about how PRIDE went directly rather than sending me an email about information you received secondhand.”
  7. If I get fired, I don’t care.
  8. If the asshole wants to play favorites, I don’t care.  I have no desire to be the favorite.  I’m not going to suck his wrinkled old dick just to keep my fucking job.
  9. My boss should have some fucking respect for the rest of the people that work here.
  10. If the bitch wants to be – bitchy – I don’t care so long as she isn’t getting me or my coworkers into unneeded trouble.

I could rant and rave some more.  I think I should do something productive today if I want to validate my position here. 

Also, the slut should put some proper clothing on for once.  The temp is like 40-some degrees, not 90.

Good day.

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Sick and Tired.

I feel as though I haven’t updated in a while.

I am sick.  I have had an ear ache and sinus problems most of this past week, but as of Saturday evening, the ear and sinus problems got much worse.  I took a Mucinex-DM, but I didn’t really sleep that night.  The medicine did help me stop coughing though.  Last night I took a Nyquil.  That definitely helped me sleep.  🙂

I am tired, too.  Along with sickness comes tiredness.  Of course, I have a million things going on these days.  I have my normal work plus teaching… And now I have to work on Saturdays…  I’m glad these Saturday classes are happening while my boyfriend is gone…

Oh my goodness.  I become so stupidly emotional when I am sick.  I cry about every little thing.  I cried about needing to go to the store.  I cried about saying goodnight to my boyfriend last night.  I cried about a mouse that I have in my kitchen…

Side story: I have a mouse in my kitchen.  I discovered apple pieces and mouse droppings is two of my kitchen drawers.  The drawers are side-by-side.  I have not found mouse droppings anywhere except for in these drawers.  **shrugs**  So, I went to the store to get a mouse trap and/or poison.  I settled on poison.  BUT, while I was at the store, I just wanted to find something I could trap the mouse in so I could take the mouse a few miles away from my home and drop the little guy off.  I could find no such contraption.  So, I’m standing in front of the mouse/rat killing stuff and I just start crying.  I had to walk away so that I didn’t actually completely break down right there in the middle of the store.  **rolls eyes**

So, yeah.  I can tell that I’m really sick when I cry about every little thing, good or bad.

I think a nap is calling my name.

Good day.

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Speaking of ears…

Last week I blogged about my hearing (https://classicallydysfunctional.wordpress.com/2012/09/27/hearing-and-nosebleeds-2/).  Sorry, I would’ve made that a proper link, but I’m at work and WordPress doesn’t like my work computer… Or maybe my computer doesn’t like WordPress.  I don’t know.

Anyway, my ears are bothering me.  Specifically, my left ear feels like I have fluid behind the eardrum, which means I probably do.  **sigh**  Overall I feel crappy.

In other news, I have 9.25 PTO (paid time off) days.  🙂  I’m not sure why I earn 2.25 days per month when I can only PTO in .5 incriments.  Whatever.  Regardless, I’m happy that I have so much saved up.  I’m not planning on using any PTO this months, so by next month I should have 11.5 days of PTO, which will go back to 9.5 because I will use 1 for my birthday (since working here I have always taken my birthday off since I’ve never been able to do so before) and 1 for Thanksgiving.  They happen to be back-to-back.  🙂  In December I will use 3-4 PTO days.  I will get my normal 2.25 days, oh wait!  I think starting next month I’ll be getting 2.5 days per month…maybe.  I’ll just stick with my 2.25 days atm.  At the beginning of December I will again have 11.75, then I will be down to (let’s face it, I’ll take 4 days) 7.75.  January I’ll take 1 day, so I’ll start with 10 and be down to 9 by the end of the month.  I will start February with 11.25.  I’m not planning on taking any days that month.  So, the beginning of March will roll around and I’ll have 13.5.  That’s soooo awesome!  😀  Maybe I’ll take the whole week of Christmas off.  😉

This means I’ll be able to go to Daytona Beach with my boyfriend to the spring motorcycle rally in March.  Or maybe I should go to the Ocean City spring bike rally…  I absolutely love Ocean City.  That rally is in May.  The Myrtle Beach rally is in April… And Laconia is in June… And Hagerstown in July. And East Coast Sturgis is in August.  Oh yeah, Dumfries is also in May.  And Johnstown is also in June.

I think I want to go to Daytona Beach or Ocean City.  🙂

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Heart Aches, Recovery, and Everything In-Between.

Today I am reflecting on relationships…

When I was a senior in high school, I thought that I had met the man that I would marry.  Some do find their lifelong love in high school.  My sisters both found their husbands while in high school.  I was not so – I do not want to say “lucky” or “fortunate” because I love my boyfriend and would have missed out on him if I had married that guy.  So what word should I use? …  I’m not sure.

I was thinking about my HSS (High School Sweetheart) the other day and how much I’ve changed since that time.  Looking back I feel as though I was a blank notebook.  HSS was the first guy to show me compassion, passion.  The words he wrote on my pages were uplifting, flattering, kind, fun, adventurous.  The memories that filled me from the first couple of years we knew each other were blissful.  I was determined to never let HSS go.  He made me so happy.  The first time HSS kissed me was electrifying.  Surely such a kiss from such a man would mean that he and I were “meant to be”. Right?

Something changed.  I’m still unsure of what took place.  I do not have his thoughts and feelings written in our notebook.  I say “our notebook” because I have several notebooks filled with stories, memories, feelings, people, places, etc.  I do know that one day he said that we were not “meant to be”.  Suddenly, I felt as though someone had reached inside of me, took ahold of my heart and squeezed and twisted and wouldn’t let go.  How could he? What did I do?  Questions filled the pages.  I never found the answers.

Five years and a several notebooks later HSS emailed me.  I initially jumped for joy! He’s back!  But then I looked through all the pages that we had filled together and I knew that HSS had his reasons for taking leave.  I agreed to letting HSS stay the night with me.  WHY?!  I cried before I saw him. I cried during our conversations. I cried when he left the next day.  I realize now that I needed to have closure.  I never felt that we had said goodbye, that our final chapter had ended.  While I still have that notebook I created with HSS, the pain doesn’t hit me when I puruse the pages.  We created an awesome book together.  Among the pages are laughter, road trips, song, dance, merriness, tears, heartache, love, dislike, and everything in-between.  The book is finished.

Another two years lapsed, a few more notebooks were filled…

When I met my boyfriend, I had notebooks filled on topics such as lust, sex, frienships, joy, and brokenness.  I can use these books as references for how I act and react to our experiences with each other.  Our own book has stories of sappy moments, dog tales, housing woes, yardwork fun, motorcyle rally craziness, long-distance issues, contentment…  Our relationship will probably never be “picture perfect,” but I would never want a picture perfect relationship.  Life is more interesting when the camera isn’t always on-point, when the pen never leaks, and when the sky rains while the sun is shining.

Good day.

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PRIDE and Coffee.

Starting this Saturday I begin a new round of PRIDE classes.  My asshole boss decided that I should do Saturday classes.  I think he should teach Saturday classes and see how he likes spending every Saturday of a whole month at work.  I don’t mind working a Saturday every now and then, but generally I like having my weekends OFF.  Now, because my boyfriend is gone, doing Saturday classes isn’t that bad.  At least I will have something to do on the weekends this month.  And I can work shorter daytime hours during the week.

Being a nonprofit agency, we tend to buy the cheapest of things for office supplies.  One thing that we don’t skimp on is coffee.  I am so glad we get a name-brand coffee.  Right now we have Maxwell.  Sometimes we get Folgers.  Sometimes we splurge and get Starbucks… Mmmm…  I am so glad that I can have as much coffee as I want on this diet.  🙂

There are 23 working days this month.  Well, 27 for me.  That totally sucks!  I am so taking a day or two off somewhere this month.  *stamps foot*

Ok, for those of you who are wondering what PRIDE is, I’ll tell you.  This is what I send to prospective foster/adoptive parents:

PURPOSE

Foster PRIDE/Adopt PRIDE is a competency-based program for the pre-service training, assessment, and selection of prospective foster parents and adoptive parents.  PRIDE Training consists of a nine session training program and a mutual assessment process involving a series of at-home family consultations.  The program is based on the philosophy that knowledgeable and skilled foster parents and adoptive parents are integral to providing quality family foster care and adoption services.

OVERVIEW

Session One: Connecting with PRIDE – Session One gives you the unique opportunity to learn about the world of foster care and adoption through the stories of children receiving child welfare services.  Session One also welcomes you to Foster PRIDE/Adopt PRIDE, explaining how this training program fits in with the process of assessing and selecting foster families and adoptive families.  You will discover how families are licensed and certified for this important work.  Session One spells out how the knowledge and skills (known as “competencies”) that successful foster families and adoptive families need. (Saturday, October 6, 2012; 10AM-1PM)

Session Two: Teamwork toward Permanence – One of the most challenging tasks for foster families and adoptive families involves developing an understanding of birth family issues –knowing how to talk with children about their families and being able to support their family relationships.  This session lays the foundation for this understanding by first exploring the ways in which families support a child’s identity, cultural heritage, and self-esteem. (Saturday, October 6, 2012; 1PM-4PM)

Session Three: Meeting Developmental Needs: Attachment – Session Three explores how abuse, neglect, and trauma impact a child’s attachments, development, and behavior. (Saturday, October 13, 2012; 10AM-1PM)

Session Four: Meeting Developmental Needs: Loss – Session Four reviews the stages of loss and their impact on the child, with an emphasis on how loss affects the child’s behavior. (Saturday, October 13, 2012; 1PM-4PM)

Session Five: Strengthening Family Relationships – Session Five reviews the child welfare goal of returning children in foster care to their birth families whenever possible. (Saturday, October 20, 2012; 10AM-1PM)

Session Six: Meeting Developmental Needs: Discipline – Session Six covers the knowledge, skills, and personal qualities adults need to instill effective, appropriate discipline. (Saturday, October 20, 2012; 1PM-4PM)

Session Seven: Continuing Family Relationships – This session promotes understanding of permanency timeframes, and the importance of the “child’s clock” in making permanency decisions. (Saturday, October 27, 2012; 10AM-1PM)

Session Eight: Planning for Change – Session Eight takes a practical view of what to expect during the first hours, days, and weeks of a child’s placement in a home.  You will learn what to ask the worker and how to talk to the child.  You will also have the opportunity to explore how placement will impact your family, and particularly your own children. (Saturday, October 27, 2012; 1PM-4PM)

Session Nine: Taking PRIDE: Making and Informed Decision – In this closing session, you will hear from a panel of experienced members of the foster care team.  Birth parents, foster parents, adoptive parents, workers, and other members of the child welfare team present their views and answer questions. (To Be Determined)

I have taught PRDIE enough times now that I am very comfortable with what I am presenting at each session.  I can improvise and share from personal experiences.  I have my notes as a security blanket, but I can handle the topics without much help from the notes.  I actually enjoy teaching the classes.    I would just rather do them during the week than on a Saturday.  Oh well.

Good day.

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