Monthly Archives: March 2013

Waiting. Received. Accepted.

My alarm went off at 6am, as usual.  I hit snooze, as usual.  I got up before the snooze alarm went off.  I went to the bathroom to do my normal morning stuff.  Took a shower and then sat on the couch, cuddling with the doggy for a few minutes.  I got up to get dressed and that is when my morning started going downhill.

My nose started bleeding as I was looking for clothes to wear – not that I don’t have clothes to wear, I just couldn’t find the one shirt I wanted.  So, I grabbed a tissue from my nightstand.  I knew I was making too much noise when my boyfriend rolled over and let out a frustrated moan.  I tried to make less noise.  I’m not sure if I succeeded on the noise reduction.

Because I was having issues finding clothing that was both casual and work-appropriate, I ended up having to turn on the light, at which point my boyfriend let out an exasperated sigh.  I quickly grabbed clothes from the dresser and closet, turned out the lights, and headed to the living room in order to get dressed.

While dressing I hear my boyfriend’s alarm go off (which I thought he had forgotten to un-set the day before as I was unaware that he had to work today) which sounds like a pissed off Aunt Jemima yelling at her lazy-ass son: “Get your ass outta bed! Get up! Get up! You got stuff to do today! Get up! Get your ass outta bed!” etc.  After I finished getting dressed I hurried outside with the dog.  I needed a cigarette before facing my boyfriend, knowing he was not going to be happy about being woken up before he was actually supposed to be getting up.

As I came inside, my boyfriend was stretching in the doorway.  He informed me that he indeed did have to work today and seemed irritated that I had not remembered him mentioning said work the previous day.  I recalled him saying that he was unsure if he had to work, but did not recall any confirmation about work being mandated.

My boyfriend went outside for his I’m-awake-and-pissed-at-the-world morning cigarette.  I gathered my things, went out back to say goodbye and he’s taking a piss.  Really.  Honey.  C’mon.  Look, I don’t care if he wants to pee outside.  But it’s freaking cold this morning!  Haha.  His reaction when I stepped outside was, “Damn it woman. What do you want?!”

“Just to say goodbye.”
“Well, goodbye.” He kissed me.

I turned quickly and headed back in before the scrunched up you-hurt-my-feelings face and tears appeared.  I cried through the laundry room, up the stairs, out the front door, and into my car.  I took a deep breath and told myself, “he’s so not a morning person.”

Waiting.

I decided to wait for an apology before texting/calling him at all today.  I waited about 40 minutes before he text me.

Received.

“Sorry dear. Woke up mad. Love u.”  (I secretly hate ‘u’ when one is expressing love.)

Accepted.

“I’m sorry that I woke you up. I know you’re not really a morning person. Lol. Love you. :-)”  (I was immediately my jovial self as soon as I saw that text.  I then went on to explain the nosebleed and clothing issue and blah, blah, blah.

So, all is well in my world again.  I’m so thankful that he realized that he messed up and was more abrasive than need be.  So thankful that he apologized on his own, in his own time, and in his own way.

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Baby Jealousy.

Yesterday morning my boyfriend says to me, “Poor J.”
Me: “Why? She break up with her new boy toy?”
Him: “She’s pregnant.”
Me: “Ok. Why ‘poor J?'”
Him: “Well, I know she likes being a mommy, but I think this might be C’s baby.”
Me: “Ooohh. Are they back together now?”
Him: “I don’t know.  She posted a picture on Facebook of her belly and the book, ‘What to Expect When Expecting’. She has a small bump.  That puts her at what? 2-3 months?”
Me: (Immediate tears spring to my eyes and I scrunch up my face to try to not do what I was not intendeding to do) “How am I supposed to know?”
Him: “Why did you just give me the I’m-pissed-and-I’m-gonna-cry look?”
Me: (Voice raising slightly, back turned) “I’m not pissed.” (Turn around, walk to him, put my arms around him) “I’m jealous.”
Him: (Chuckles) “Jealous?  Oh honey, your day will come.”
Me: “Doesn’t’ feel like it.”
Him: “Why not?”
Me: “I’m almost 30. And we can’t have a baby while living here. And I don’t see us moving anytime soon.”
Him: “Well, I’ll be getting more work soon.  Then we can move, maybe even look into buying a house.”
Me: *sigh* “Ok. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cry. It just happened.”

Big hug.

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Secret Dreams.

For the past two weeks I have been in wedding-dreams overdrive.  I have been looking at engagement rings, wedding dresses, wedding cakes, beautiful bouquets of flowers and searching for wedding venues, honeymoon discounts and reading wedding blogs, watching DIY vlogs, etc., etc., etc.

Reality?  My boyfriend will probably never propose and IF he does, he will not do so for another five or more years.

While dealing with my heart’s desire and reality I have also been searching for new tattoo ideas.  If I can’t get married, I’ll get tattooed, damn it!

I’ve also been dreaming of babies.  Like, I have literally been dreaming of having a baby.  That will probably come sooner than a wedding.  😉

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