I am completely – horrified – that people are happy when I am so completely sad. It’s not that they’re happy about the Redskins losing while I’m sad about it… No, I’ve started telling people that I broke up with my boyfriend and I’ve had more than one person say, “Oh, good!” as if I’m supposed to be rejoicing in the fact that I was engaged to be married to my very best friend and then everything went to hell in a handbasket. How dare you?!
And my parents want me to come out this weekend because:
a. My sister is being induced on Friday and I’ll have a new nephew
b. My brothers will be in town
c. I haven’t visited my parents since August
d. My birthday is on Thursday
I have a feeling that my parents will also do a happy dance inspite of my clear misery. Now, my parents have never cared for my (ex) bf… They’ve never liked any guy I’ve ever dated. And they particularly dislike my (ex) bf because he doesn’t have their same ideals – who freaking cares?! Geez.
Anyway, I had always told my (ex) bf and friends that he is the best (ex) bf I’ve ever had. He treated me so well – except for these past few months. I was always a priority – except for these past few months. He made time for me and was sensitive to my needs – except for these past few months… (See the pattern?) So, I broke it off. Took me over a month to work up the courage and confidence, but I still question if I did the right thing. Maybe I should’ve given him more time to figure his shiz out before bailing…
He did affirm my decision though. He told me that I was right, that he was being a complete dick to me and that I deserve so much better. He said he was so sorry. He said that maybe if he gets his shit together he’d like the chance to properly date me. But that I shouldn’t just wait around for him because I do deserve to be happy and because he can’t meet my needs right now. I told him that I wouldn’t just come crawling back to him – that he’d have to fight for me and show me that he can really respect me again. He said that this is his loss… that some lucky guy will sweep me away in no time…
How dare people be happy for me right now…