While I was purusing Facebook this evening I noted your sister’s status (not ver batem): “Had a great day decorating with the kids, ex-boyfriend, and slut-he-cheated-with!” What the what? <– that’s what went through my brain.
Immediate meltdown ensued. I didn’t just cry. I sobbed. You know, those deep guttaral sounds that makes you wonder if someone is dying? Yes, gut wrenching sobs. He had told me that I’d “ruined their friendship” and that she told him she’d never talk to him again… And on Thanksgiving he’d said they still weren’t talking. So, my dear, this is what I ask of you:
- Why have you done the things you’ve done?
- Why did you continue with the lies?
- Why am I so stupid?
- Where did everything go so wrong?
- Why did you ever propose in the first place?
- Why does my heart hurt so much?
- Why did you drag me out here?
- Why are your parents so wonderful to me?
- Why didn’t you let me break up with you the first time I tried?
- Why did you want to hang on to us?
- Why did you say you still love me?
- Why do you want to remain friends?
- Why did you expect me to trust you?
- Why would she want to be with you knowing you were cheating on me to be with her?
- Why can’t I see these things coming from a mile away?
- Have you always lied to me?
- Was this the first time you did this to me?
- Are you happy?
I feel foolish and angry and sad.
Forever not yours,