I started writing and completely got off topic, so I am now starting over.
Over the weekend I did a lot of thinking about why people do the things they do to their families. Here’s a summary of the situation regarding my bf’s family:
Bf’s Aunt D was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer a little over a week ago. Aunt D has two kids and three siblings, one full sibling and two half siblings. Aunt D’s son has visited his mom once in the past 3 years, and that was to get money from her. Aunt D’s half siblings did nothing to help her during her messy divorce. Aunt D’s half brother has smoked himself stupid (def no disrespect here – he’s an awesome guy…just has no clue). Aunt D’s half sister is the snobby, I’m-too-good-for-you type. Aunt D’s full brother and his wife (bf’s parents) took Aunt D in during her divorce and she has lived there since that time. She considers that her home. The house happens to be a small, older trailer that sits at the bottom of a hill on her dad’s property. When Aunt D was diagnosed with cancer, Aunt D’s kids got a lawyer to draw up papers to have Aunt D sign. I’m guessing (but don’t know for sure) that the papers might have to do with power of attorney and perhaps inheritance. That was their FIRST act. Snobby and her husband took Aunt D from her home because “she can’t live in a place like this”. ‘This’ being a trailer. Granted, there was a mold issue in the trailer, but that was more Aunt D’s doing than anyone’s (she’s a bit of a hoarder and refused to clean her room – ever. When they realized mold was growing, they cleaned everything and tried to get Aunt D to do the same, but she wouldn’t. Now that Aunt D is gone they were able to empty her room [which held about the same amount of stuff I have in an apartment] and deep clean it with bleach. No more mold issue.). Aunt D’s daughter came and got her car over the weekend.
I don’t understand Aunt D’s kids or Snobby. They decided a long time ago to basically write her off unless she presented some kind of advantage to them. Her kids want her money. Snobby wants to be the long-suffering saint. Snobby is being all “woe is me” every chance she gets. Aunt D was perfectly happy where she was. There’s so much to this and I really don’t have time to put the entire story down… I have just been completely flabbergasted (such a great word) at the actions of Aunt D’s family. Bf’s parents have been so crushed by everything… Snobby is screening Aunt D’s calls and won’t answer when bf’s parents call. Snobby is blocking bf’s parents on fb. Really? Bf’s parents have been there for Aunt D like no one else in that family. Snobby refuses to drive Aunt D to see her dad. A feud has brewed for years. That whole thing has just blown up and spewed everywhere.
Question: has Snobby or the kids even asked Aunt D what she wants?
Unfortunately the next time bf’s parents, Aunt D’s dad, bf, bf’s sister, etc. will see Aunt D will be at her funeral. That makes me very sad for this family… Bf’s parents have sorted through all of Aunt D’s belongings. They have set aside things that they know she especially loves and would like to have. They’re hoping that Snobby and the kids will actually let Aunt D have them nearby.