Tag Archives: Dating

Bittersweet First Date.

I had a date last night.  A first date with a tall man.  Tall Guy and I met of OKC.  We chatted via messaging for a couple of days and then we exchanged phone numbers.  We texted and called each other, and yesterday morning Tall Guy asked, “Can I take you out to dinner tonight?”  Um, pass up free food? “Of course!” I replied.  Really though, I was excited.

I. Was. Excited.

All day long I was a happy person.  I was really productive at work.  I had an 11 1/2 hour work day and I didn’t even mind.  My poor intern was having a horrid day with some personal issues.  I would listen to her, and I would (try to) be compassionate.  I was probably not a very good friend because of my cheeriness.

We were supposed to meet around 7pm at the restaurant I chose (I hate choosing).  After I got back to my office, I quickly got into my car and headed to the restaurant.  And then, out of nowhere, I started crying.  I called my ex.

“I’m going on a date.”
Ok.
“With the guy who’s been snipped.”
Ok…
“I’ve been excited about it all day.”
Then why do you sound like you’ve been crying?
“Because it just hit me that it’s not you.  I mean I knew it wasn’t going to be you.  But I don’t want it to be him.  I want you.”
I’m sorry dear.
“It’s like I’ve been happy all day long and now I’m not.  We were supposd to get married in July and now I’m going on a first date.”
You’re going to be fine.
“I know.  But I don’t want to be fine with anyone else.  I’m just… I’m sad because this will never be you again.”
You never know.  Maybe someday.  Just not right now.
“But that’s just it.  I can’t be waiting around for you to be ready.  I have to move forward with my life.  And that means I have a first date that I’m actually looking forward to and somehow that makes me sad.”
Yes you do.  Don’t be sad.  Stop crying.  You’re going to look a mess for your date.  Think of something that makes you mad about me so you can have a good time with him.  I want you to be happy.
(Both laughing)
“Thanks for talking to me.  I’m sorry I called you about this.”
Yeah, I was probably the worst person to talk to about it.  But hey, we’ll always be friends.  No matter what.
“Thank you.”

So, I cleaned up my face and met up with Tall Guy.  We had good conversations.  I didn’t feel that chemistry spark.  But I am going to give Tall Guy a real chance.  He really is a good guy.

That was a very bittersweet first date.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

I Need Bail.

I have the most awesomest (I’m aware that awesomest isn’t a word) boss ever.  🙂  She, my other coworker, and I were discussing silly, crazy boys with mommy issues (perfect Monday morning conversation) and she offered to be my bail-out should I need it.  Just text her and she’ll call with a work emergency.  Crazy thing is, in my line of work, a work emergency is very believable.  Some things that have happened recently that have required immediate attention:

  1. Kid caught with marijuana at school
  2. Kid attacked foster parents 4 times (not same kid as above)
  3. Baby born and needed placed
  4. Emergency meeting 2 hours away

I apologize if you’re a previous date and you’re reading this and I’ve left said date with a work emergency.  I’ve done it before and I will so totally do it again.  Why?  Because men who make dehumanizing and sexist remarks, take uneaten food from another person’s plate, look 5+ years older than his online profile picture, and/or live in his parents’ basement with several ferrets and cats make me want to vomit and I’d rather do that in the comfort of my own space (you know, since I don’t actually have a home).

So now I have a bail-out.  Just text and she’ll call.  I have the most awesomest boss ever.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

POF – Seriously?

Of all the online dating sites, POF is the absolute worst one. Period.

That is all.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Online Dating.

These are the things I’ve learned with using online dating sites:

  1. Most guys around my age are divorced with children.
  2. I will send 30 messages and receive one.
    • Some guy got upset at me because I didn’t respond to his message.  He is 41.  I’m 30.  He is divorced with like 4 kids and doesn’t want any more children.  I have no children and definitely wants kids.  I didn’t think a response was necessary due to our lack of commonalities.  He told me I wouldn’t find someone to marry me. Ever.  And that he’s a nice guy and I’m not nice because I didn’t respond.  My response to that? “You haven’t shown me that you’re nice at all. I apologize for offending you. If I expected a response from every person I messaged, I’d be waiting forever.”  Oh well.
  3. I attract women as well as men… (Hmmm…)  😉
  4. Some guys just want sex.
    • I want sex, too.  But I would really like to follow my logical brain and not just jump into bed with someone… You know, form a friendship, get to know each other, figure out what we each are looking for in a relationship, etc.  Now, my slutty, sex-deprived brain says, “YOU HAVEN’T BEEN LAID IN THREE MONTHS!”  **sigh**  That’s why God made fingers and BOBs, right?  Sure.
  5. Many guys are genuinely seeking love.
  6. I need to be more specific in my “what I’m looking for” section – this might help weed out some of the weirdos.  Lol
  7. Patience is needed.
  8. Free dating websites have a lot of creepers.
  9. I really enjoy the anonymity of online messaging.
  10. I will *always* follow my meet-for-the-first-time-in-public rule. Always.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Offensiveness.

I’m generally an easy-going gal.  I tend to take things in stride as life throws stuff at me.  Sometimes I do take offense to what others say to me… And I’m not offended about what someone says so much as how the words are said.

Example: I decided to go ahead and reopen my OkCupid account.  Some guy, we’ll call him M-OKC, was messaging me and I read his profile and he seemed to be an okay guy.  We went out for pizza and I realized that a.) he’s cheap, b.) he’s odd, c.) he’s just – weird.  I don’t mind weird.  Hell, I’m weird.  But his weirdness is of the sketchy-type… You know, the kind of person you know you probably should avoid being alone with in a dark alley?  Anyway, we go our separate ways and to keep him at bay I told him that I realized I’m not ready for a relationship at this point because I’m still too in love with my (ex) bf.  That’s totally true, but was just an excuse to get this guy to leave me the hell alone.  He doesn’t get the hint.  He sent me a text yesterday, “What’s a gorgeous woman like you doing tonight?”  I had had enough.  He had sent me texts with “baby” and “honey” and “sweetheart”.  Being that I think he’s the creepy-sketchy type of guy, I took offense to the “endearments” if you can call them that…  I told him to stop because I didn’t like the terms.  “Why does it bother you?”  OH MY GOSH!  I just wanted to scream at him!

Why does it bother me that you’re calling me baby?! Because you’re a gross man.  You make me feel sick.  You think that you’re some gift to women.  Well, when you stare at me with your beady, narrow eyes I want to vomit. And when you you smile and show your yellow teeth I want to run away.  I got all of that from a couple of hours at CiCi’s.  The whole time I was thinking, please don’t touch me.  Yes, I’m offended that you think I should just let you use special terms of endearment after a few hours of talking to each other.  I’m not yours.  And I never will be.  **shudders**

I told him that I thought that calling me “baby” when I’m not his is sexist and demeaning.  Who the hell are you to call me baby?  I’m not your baby.

This is what I get for getting back to online dating so quickly.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Choices.

**A couple of weeks ago bf and I decided that yes, we would continue dating.  He also told me to not sit around waiting for him.  That if I became friends with someone and thought there might be something there, just let him know.  He won’t be mad.  He wants me to be happy.  So, we also decided that we would date, work on our shiz, but at the same time wouldn’t be exclusive – wait, or are we exclusive but we just keeping our options open, or …??**

I stayed with my bf over the weekend.  I’ve officially moved.  I signed up on ChristianMingle.com and eHarmony.com because I remember that he said something about not waiting around, but then I was confused because we’re exclusive, or something like that.  I felt guilty for signing up and I’ve just let the accounts sit there until I figure out what’s going on.  While he was at work yesterday (I swear I was not snooping) I found out that he has an OkCupid account.  I didn’t know if I should be mad about that.  I made dating site accounts.  But I thought this was just me that was keeping options open – wait, that doesn’t make sense either.  Oh my goodness.  So confused.  So, I decided to not be mad.  How could I be?  I did not click on the link (on his computer when you open a new tab it lists recent sites.  Mine used to do that until I did something funky and every time I open a window, google shows up. Whatever.).  I did not want to see when his account was made, or how many messages he had, or if he was meeting anyone, or etc., etc., etc.  Instead, I had a talk with my bf when he got home from work.

Me: So, I decided not to go to that interview tomorrow.
BF: Ok. Why?
Me: Well, if we’re going to be working on us, I should probably stay where I am for now.  I mean, I really like the job I have now and I have a good living situation.
BF: Might as well not mess up a good thing.
Me: Well, yeah.  But also, I think we really need to figure our shit out before I move back this way.
BF: Ok.
Me: I mean, well, are we exclusive?  I’m a little confused about that.  I mean, you said to not wait around, but we’re still together, and…
BF: Um…
Me: I’m just saying that I need more clearly defined lines.  I’m personally not comfortable with being exclusive or whatever and still dating around or something.  It has to be you and me 100% or…
BF: Just friends.
Me: Yeah.  I’m just having a hard time figuring out who we are.
BF: Well, we shouldn’t make that decision right now.
Me: I agree.  And I’m not trying to put a timeframe on this.  No pressure. Really.  I just don’t like grey areas like this.  You and me, or not.  So yeah…
BF: Ok.  I understand that.

I did such a good job not crying at all through that conversation.  My heart wants to be with him.  My brain is telling me to stand strong.  We both have choices to make, issues to think about, considerations to ponder…

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized