After visiting with my sister, brother-in-law, and brand new nephew in the hospital for a few hours, I met my parents, brother, and other nephew for dinner. After dinner my mom and I went back to the hospital with my nephew so he could visit with his baby brother for a bit. On the way there this conversation unfolded:
Mom: I’m seeing a counselor.
Me: Oh yeah? Why’s that?
Mom: Well, your dad and I are having problems.
Me: Ok. Well, is the counseling helping? Are you both going?
Mom: No. Just me. Well, your father has come twice. I’m going more out of spite than anything. I guess you can know what’s happening.
Mom: Your father found a friend from high school on Facebook. They were messaging back and forth. (I’m sure if darkness hadn’t fallen that she would have seen the color drain from my face.) Then he told her that she could email him on his work email! I told him that I didn’t have a problem with them talking, but it should be on our joint email.
Me: Oh dear.
Mom: Yeah, so then I find out he’s been emailing her and texting with her and skyping with her. You know his new phone?
Mom: He got that so he could talk to her.
Mom: I know. He told me that if I had such a problem with it to get counseling. So I am.
Me: I’m so sorry, Mom.
Mom: The worst part is is that he has admitted that they’ve been flirtatious and suggestive.
Me: What a (I wanted to say asshole or dick) jerk!
Mom: Yeah. He told the counselor the first time that he came with me that he was like the guy in Proverbs that follows the harlot and not Wisdom.
Me: But he hasn’t changed anything, right?
Mom: He keeps saying they aren’t talking as much.
Me: I’m so sorry, Mom… I can completely relate.
Me: That’s basically what bf did to me.
Mom: (I could hear the tears in her voice) Oh honey…
For the first time in my life I can completely relate to my mom. I’ve always felt a disconnect because we had never had any experiences that were remotely similar. I really want to give my dad a piece of my mind… To let him know that (ex) bf did the same thing to me and hurt his daughter so deeply. How would you like that, Dad? Huh? How would it sound coming from your daughter that a man hurt her in the same way in which you’re hurting Mom? Fuck you, Dad. You’re an asshole.