Tag Archives: Ex

Awkward Dream.

I had a dream that my ex walked into my bedroom completely naked, with a boner.  I got up and went about my day and he followed me everywhere – naked, with a boner.  And his girlfriend was trailing behind him with a smile plastered to her face.  She was wearing a fancy dress.  If someone referred to her, they called her “Swamp Hag Big Bangs.”  I felt a mixture of pleasure and pity at the teasing.  Really, the dream was quite awkward.  My ex, naked, with a boner.  His girlfriend, following along.

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Living Arrangements.

What to do?!

I’ve talked at length with my landlady.  She herself is at a loss as to what to do.  She moved in to this townhouse thinking she’d be making commission with her job about last month.  Well now she probably won’t be making commission for another 3 months.  So, she can’t afford rent here and I can’t afford to pay (much) more than I already do.  That said, she has asked the landlord (see rent’s the place and I rent the basment-ish area) to sublease the unit.  So, now the place is up for rent again and neither of us know the next move.

  • If I get the job I interviewed for yesterday, I will be able to afford my own place.  🙂
  • If I don’t get the job, I need to find a different place (probably someone else’s basement) pronto.
  • If my roomy/housemate/landlady moves in with her bf, I need to find a different place to live pronto.
  • If she breaks up with her bf she might move back to her hometown and I will need to find a place pronto.
  • If she breaks up with or stays with her bf and they don’t move in together, we could find another place together with less rent/space.

Right now I like the last option best.

Did I mention (I know I didn’t) that my ex wants me to move back in with me?  So there’s that.  Apparently his sister is going to get them evicted and he can’t stand living with her and blah, blah, blah.  So he suggested we move in together if I get the job.  I said that he would have to understand that we would have to have a 2BR place with each of us splitting everything 50/50.  And I asked if he thought awkwardness would ensue if either of us started dating/sleeping with someone new.  His reply, “do you have a fuck buddy?”  Well, no, I said.  That’s not the point though.  I need him to understand that he’s not going to just waltz back into my bed and become my partner again just because we might live together.  He needs to prove that he can treat me the way I deserve to be treated.

So yeah.  How bout them apples?

Don’t get me wrong, I love the man.  I just feel this overwhelming need to protect my heart…

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Relating.

After visiting with my sister, brother-in-law, and brand new nephew in the hospital for a few hours, I met my parents, brother, and other nephew for dinner.  After dinner my mom and I went back to the hospital with my nephew so he could visit with his baby brother for a bit.  On the way there this conversation unfolded:

Mom: I’m seeing a counselor.
Me: Oh yeah? Why’s that?
Mom: Well, your dad and I are having problems.
Me: Ok.  Well, is the counseling helping? Are you both going?
Mom: No. Just me.  Well, your father has come twice.  I’m going more out of spite than anything.  I guess you can know what’s happening.
Me: Alright.
Mom: Your father found a friend from high school on Facebook.  They were messaging back and forth. (I’m sure if darkness hadn’t fallen that she would have seen the color drain from my face.)  Then he told her that she could email him on his work email!  I told him that I didn’t have a problem with them talking, but it should be on our joint email.
Me: Oh dear.
Mom: Yeah, so then I find out he’s been emailing her and texting with her and skyping with her.  You know his new phone?
Me: Yeah…
Mom: He got that so he could talk to her.
Me: What?!
Mom: I know.  He told me that if I had such a problem with it to get counseling.  So I am.
Me: I’m so sorry, Mom.
Mom: The worst part is is that he has admitted that they’ve been flirtatious and suggestive.
Me: What a (I wanted to say asshole or dick) jerk!
Mom: Yeah.  He told the counselor the first time that he came with me that he was like the guy in Proverbs that follows the harlot and not Wisdom.
Me: But he hasn’t changed anything, right?
Mom: He keeps saying they aren’t talking as much.
Me: I’m so sorry, Mom… I can completely relate.
Mom: Hmmm?
Me: That’s basically what bf did to me.
Mom: (I could hear the tears in her voice) Oh honey…

For the first time in my life I can completely relate to my mom.  I’ve always felt a disconnect because we had never had any experiences that were remotely similar.  I really want to give my dad a piece of my mind… To let him know that (ex) bf did the same thing to me and hurt his daughter so deeply.  How would you like that, Dad? Huh? How would it sound coming from your daughter that a man hurt her in the same way in which you’re hurting Mom? Fuck you, Dad.  You’re an asshole.

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