Monthly Suckage.

Periods suck. Ugh!  Here are all the reasons they suck:

1. I bleed for 5-7 days.
2. I get all kinds of moody and bitchy and weepy and angry and all that about 7-10 days PRIOR to my period (this is known as PMS – PREmenstrual Syndrome. PMS is **NOT** the same as a monthly period).
3. My boobs hurt.
4. My lower abdomen cramps.
5. I poop more often.
6. I cry about stupid shit (like a spider in my bathroom).
7. Did I mention cramps yet?  Ugh!!  They hurt so bad!
8. I get irritated really easily.
9. My back hurts.  My back already hurts b/c of all the driving I do.  Now my back really, really hurts.  Thanks doctor for the Flexeril!
10. I get headaches.
11. When I get a nosebleed I think about how I’m bleeding from two different orifices.
12. I use a menstrual cup.  I bought it like 3 1/2 years ago.  Considering I used to buy a pack of pads and tampons every month and now I only buy panty liners about once every 3 months, I’d say I’m saving all kinds of crazy money.  🙂
13. Cramps.
14. My boobs swell.  I don’t need that.  They’re big enough, thank you very much.
15. I crave chocolate like Popeye craves spinach.
16. I am bloated which equates to I gain a couple of pounds.  Sure, it’ll come off after this bitch is done, but still.

Ugh.  Be happy that you’re a man if you’re a man.  And I hate you for being a man if you’re a man.  Just saying.