Periods suck. Ugh! Here are all the reasons they suck:
- I bleed for 5-7 days.
- I get all kinds of moody and bitchy and weepy and angry and all that about 7-10 days PRIOR to my period (this is known as PMS – PREmenstrual Syndrome. PMS is **NOT** the same as a monthly period).
- My boobs hurt.
- My lower abdomen cramps.
- I poop more often.
- I cry about stupid shit (like a spider in my bathroom).
- Did I mention cramps yet? Ugh!! They hurt so bad!
- I get irritated really easily.
- My back hurts. My back already hurts b/c of all the driving I do. Now my back really, really hurts. Thanks doctor for the Flexeril!
- I get headaches.
- When I get a nosebleed I think about how I’m bleeding from two different orifices.
- I use a menstrual cup. I bought it like 3 1/2 years ago. Considering I used to buy a pack of pads and tampons every month and now I only buy panty liners about once every 3 months, I’d say I’m saving all kinds of crazy money. 🙂
- My boobs swell. I don’t need that. They’re big enough, thank you very much.
- I crave chocolate like Popeye craves spinach.
- I am bloated which equates to I gain a couple of pounds. Sure, it’ll come off after this bitch is done, but still.
Ugh. Be happy that you’re a man if you’re a man. And I hate you for being a man if you’re a man. Just saying.
I found out this morning that my landlady is moving in with her boyfriend. I rent the lower level of the townhouse. I don’t have a bedroom or full bath. I just have a space and a half bath. Rent is cheap which is why I’m here. She’s talked about the possibility of moving in with her bf, but has never officially told me that plans have been set and a move is happening. She still hasn’t. But, her ex-husband is here for the holidays and they were yelling at each other (per usual) and she said, “I need this place in showing condition for renters!” So, she’s apparently moving. What does that mean for me? Do I have to move, too? Is she subletting and making my living here a stipulation of the new renters? I’m a bit pissed about the situation. If I need to move, she needs to f*cking tell me. I dread the thought of moving.
On another note, I have a period tracker (there’s an app for that). According to said app my cycle averages 32 days. The “normal” average is 28 days. I guess I should be thankful that my periods are more spread out than the average woman’s. I’ve been keeping track of my menses for some time but have never seen a true pattern. And really, there isn’t a pattern. My cycle has ranged from 25 to 35 days since April. If I were to plot my number on a bell curve, I would see my averages… According to my calculations, my mean is 30.5, which rounds up to 31 days per cycle. My median is 30.5, which again rounds up to 31 days per cycle. And then my mode is 30 (2 of my cycles lasted 30 days). Not sure how the app figures my average cycle is 32 days. Whatever. Regardless of my cycle average, periods freaking suck.